A complete guide to polyamory and ethical non-monogamy — what it is, the different relationship structures, key terms, the community, and how identity jewellery fits into openly loving more than one person.
What Is Polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic or sexual relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. It is a subset of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) — the broader umbrella of relationship structures that are not monogamous. Polyamory is practiced across all genders, sexualities, and backgrounds and has a growing, visible, and increasingly vocal community in the UK.
The defining principle of polyamory is consent and transparency. All partners know about all relationships. There are no secrets, no deceptions, and no betrayals of trust. What differentiates polyamory from cheating is not the multiple relationships — it is the honesty surrounding them.
Polyamory vs Other Forms of Ethical Non-Monogamy
Polyamory
Multiple loving, romantic, or sexual relationships with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The emphasis is on multiple meaningful connections rather than purely sexual variety.
Open Relationship
A primary couple who agree to allow sexual relationships outside their partnership. Typically the outside relationships are sexual rather than romantic. Different from polyamory in that emotional connection with outside partners is often not the goal.
Swinging
Recreational sexual activity with other couples or individuals, typically as a shared couple activity rather than individual pursuit. Social and recreational rather than relationship-oriented.
Relationship Anarchy
The rejection of traditional relationship labels and hierarchies entirely. Relationship anarchists do not distinguish between romantic, sexual, and platonic connections — all are valid and none is prioritised over another based on conventional norms.
Key Terms in Polyamory
Primary Partner
In hierarchical polyamory, the partner who holds the highest level of commitment, shared life, and priority. Not all polyamorous people use hierarchical structures.
Metamour
A partner's partner. The person your partner is in a relationship with, with whom you may or may not have your own relationship.
Compersion
The feeling of joy experienced when seeing a partner happy in another relationship. Sometimes described as the opposite of jealousy. A central concept in polyamory culture and community.
NRE — New Relationship Energy
The intense excitement and infatuation that characterises the early stages of a new relationship. Common in polyamory where new connections are regularly formed.
Kitchen Table Polyamory
A style of polyamory where all partners know and are comfortable with each other — ideally all able to sit around the kitchen table together. Emphasises community and mutual comfort.
Parallel Polyamory
A style of polyamory where partners are aware of each other but do not interact. The different relationships are maintained in parallel rather than integrated.
The Polyamory Community
The polyamory community in the UK is active and growing. FetLife hosts active polyamory groups. Reddit communities such as r/polyamory provide support, discussion, and community particularly for those new to ethical non-monogamy. Munches and social events for the polyamorous community run in London and other major UK cities.
Polyamory overlaps significantly with the broader BDSM and kink community — many polyamorous people are also kinksters, and the ethical frameworks around consent and communication that polyamory requires are closely aligned with BDSM community values.
The Polyamory Symbol
The polyamory symbol — an infinity sign with a heart at its centre — represents love without limits. The infinity symbol speaks of bonds that intertwine and endure; the heart embodies the unconditional love that multiplies rather than divides when shared. It is worn as jewellery and used as an identity marker within the polyamorous community.
Browse the FETBOMB BDSM Symbol collection for the Polyamory Symbol Ring and Polyamorous Shield Pendant — identity pieces made for people who love without limits. Read the full guide to the polyamory symbol and its meaning.
